Tying the knot is probably the biggest commitment any of us are likely to make in our lives – but, as we’re constantly being reminded by TV self-help gurus, magazine articles, and more than a few mums and dads, a marriage is something which needs to be worked on.
Just because you’ve found your soulmate, best friend or whichever cliché appeals to your case, doesn’t mean that you can sit back and relax because that relationship is likely to be a rollercoaster.
And if you’re riding a rollercoaster, then you need to be sure that you have everything working in your favour – even the slightest oversight when it comes to how you set up your home and how you lead your new lives together can lead to your relationship coming off the rails.
Traditionally the marriage bed has been a central symbol of both a wedding day and the ongoing relationship – so it’s important to choose carefully when it comes to your first bed together. Chances are that you’ll be pretty strapped for cash after you’ve blown out bigtime on the wedding of your dreams (and possibly the perfect honeymoon) so how you decide to spend your money on a bed which needs to last you the best part of the rest of your life is extremely important.
So here’s our guide to what to take into consideration when buying a bed if you’re tying the knot;
Size matters
OK, stop sniggering. It’s beds we’re about at Bedpost – what you get up to once you’ve been into our store and bought one is your business.
But that heading into a store is probably the best piece of advice you can take when it comes to choosing the best bed for you and your partner.
We have articles and guides to the best beds and mattress sizes for couples (general rule of thumb is absolutely nothing less than a queen and as large as your pocket and bedroom can take) but nothing beats heading into a store and sleep-testing our range.
Don’t be shy: go as a couple, wear loose-fitting clothes and spend as long as you need to make a good decision. We’ve got a good guide here to the things to look out for – but just remember that you’re buying for both of you and that might need a bit of give and take. (See, your parents said it was going to need give and take!)
There’s a whole heap of research from around the world which shows that couples’ relationships benefit from sleeping close together – but that might not be right for you. When you’re sleep-testing a bed, make sure you take into consideration those night’s when one of you has got a streaming cold and cuddling’s quite out of the question.
Getting a good night’s sleep is vitally important when starting out on a marriage – the last thing you need is a constant bad back from an old, saggy mattress, or a chronic case of the morning grumps because you never really sleep right.
Making sure you have a good mattress which suits both of you and which gives you the chance to get a great night’s sleep can work wonders for your wedded life.
Pillow talk
The temptation when setting up home for the first time is to spend up large on the big ticket items – the whiteware, the wide-screen television, the car, yes, and the bed – but then scrimp and save on the smaller items which don’t seem quite as important.
Pillows might just look like an added extra when compared to your mattress and bed but Bedpost has more than 20 different versions on offer and picking just one type is highly unlikely to suit both of you.
We’ve got a great guide here which will help you choose what’s best for you and your partner, and just thinking about it might help you realise a little more about each other.
For example, do you both sleep on your sides, your fronts or your backs? Do you hug a pillow, throw them off the bed during the night, or like them plumped up behind your head? Once you’ve worked out the best options for each of you, them why not buy a couple of version of each – then at least when you make the bed each morning (yes, every morning – you have to start like you mean to go on!), the bed will look nice and symmetrical.
And, just like mattresses, head into a store and test-drive the pillows – we’ve got a heap of trained experts who will be able to match your experience with the right product.
How to make it a bedroom for both of you
Unless you’re starting your new life in a new home, chances are you’re having to convert one side of the partnership’s single bedroom into a new bedroom for two. This is not as easy as it sounds.
The person who has had that room for a while will have habits which need to be shared and has probably spread themselves throughout all the storage.
The first rule of sharing a bedroom is simple: storage. Clutter is the lest sexy thing in the world, and when one of you has to get up earlier than the other for whatever reason then you don’t need them clambering around in the dark looking for socks or that other trainer.
Find a bed with storage underneath to free up room in the wardrobe and then work together to find the best solution to fitting two people’s gear into a room which used to suit one.
Once you’ve packed away your clothes, get the mood of the room right – use lighting, colour (either on the walls or with throws and bedlinen) and furniture to set up a style which works for both of you.
Making the bedroom the focus of your relationship – that private space away from areas where you invite friends and family – will help you continue to grow close together once the shine of your wedding day has worn off.
